Aspiration, explained
If we don’t tell one another how we feel about their actions and behavior, we do one another a disservice. When people crush it, tell them how much you appreciate their crushing. And when they fall short, pay them the same respect. This is not about trying to cut people down in order to make them more likable in your eyes. It’s about helping someone see that this or that approach might not be as effective as they might think.
We all have blinders on. Our responsibility is to help one another see past those blinders. Be a friend to someone who needs to hear you say something that is not easy to say. If you do so from a place of compassion, you will never regret doing so.
If your copy is not handy, here’s Chapter 6 from Do Better Work, which is all about this topic.
Examples / Observations
Observation created over 4 years agoI've seen Haley write out a ton of well thought-out shout-outs for folks, and it always injects a significant amount of joy into my day. Not just when they're for me, but it's just nice seeing someone be so enthusiastic about breeding a culture of gratitude and appreciation for our teammates.
It's easy to see something good, have a dull sense of appreciation for it, and then move on with your day. But it seems like when Haley witnesses something that someone is doing right, she's doing so with a lens of love and celebration. It becomes more than a fleeting chuckle or feeling of being impressed, it amplifies the positive thing into something more. It highlights what's working and makes everyone feel good in the process!! It's positive reinforcement that gives other people on the team an opportunity to learn from something they might not have otherwise seen.
Haley is great at making people feel good about what they're doing well, but she also has a tactful approach to giving criticism. She's reviewed a ton of my PRs to date, and has given me a healthy amount of feedback. I'm glad that she stated she gets low-key excited when she picks up one of my PRs, because I feel the same way when she does a review for me. I know I'll have really QUALITY feedback that's delivered in a way that doesn't make me feel dumb or like I've done something wrong.
It comes full circle, because I think her ability and willingness to give gentle criticism makes the aforementioned compliments feel all the more valuable and genuine. The best compliments are those that come from someone you know isn't just trying to placate you, so that's just another reason these patented Haley Shout-Outs feel precious!
This is my updated affirmation of how much I appreciate having Haley as a teammate, which is a sentiment that originated pretty much as soon as I started at Lessonly! 🎉
Observation created over 4 years agohttps://lessonly.zendesk.com/agent/tickets/9840
This was a tough ticket to read through. Promises being made, technical investigation being done, direct customer interactions, and high emotions.
Everyone was trying their best to communicate and do what is best for the customer.
However, I want to speak specifically about Brea's response.
First, the little not that she put in on 8/20 that let everyone know that she is reviewing and creating a response was excellent because it let everyone know that the delays that had been seen up to this point, weren't going to happen with her.
Then, as many great leaders do, she stopped the blame game and absorbed it all herself. Acknowledging the frustration and focusing all of the "heat" towards herself. I imagine she did this so that Jackie and Noah would not feel attacked, and she knows that blame is unproductive and counter to a psychologically safe environment. This is tough to do, but often defuses a situation and allows real progress to be made.
Then she went full NVC by acknowledging the observations up to that point and adding much more context to the shared pool of understanding. This is a vital aspect of "Mission Control", in that sharing information is key to great decision making.
I also loved that she referenced multiple systems and discussed what their intent was, and what changes we'll make to them to continuously improve them going forward.
Moving forward, we are attempting to establish consistency and clarity around tiered support, so there is no confusion for those we serve and the least amount of risk to the product we create and provide to clients.
Love this sentence, because it puts everyone on the same side.
Finally, the importance/value of a tl;dr can't be overstated.
This was a nearly perfect response. My only note would be to be explicit about what "these changes" means, given so many different things were discussed throughout this thread.
Excellent work Brea... this was fantastic!
Observation created almost 5 years agoAs we on Assess prepare for the launch of Certifications, we had a bit of an "oh, shit" moment today where it seemed like maybe we weren't all in alignment about what a Certification is. I felt a little scared, since that's not where you want to be 5 months into a project the month it's supposed to launch. So Justin called a meeting with Ashley, our designer, and me as Discovery Engineer. A lesser leader might have played the blame game ("who needs to work overtime to fix this?") or gone full command-and-control ("Here's my plan—make it happen"), but if you've worked with him, you know that's not Justin. Instead, and I've seen him do this before, he approached the situation from a place of curiosity, asking questions like "How did we get here?" Maybe it's because he has a million kids and has seen it all, but Justin's calmness immediately put me at ease, and his confident curiosity—like of course we're going to figure this out—was infectious, keeping us focused on problem-solving. It turned out we were mostly in alignment anyway, and had just made some small divergent, decisions over the course of the project that we're finally having to square, and now have a plan to. If you struggle with crucial conversations like I sometimes do, take a page from the Book of Kime and stay confidently curious.
Observation created over 5 years agoFeaturing:Noah B.We put learners firstWe have difficult conversationsWe ask clarifying questionsWe get agreementsWe recognize the opportunity in challengesWe inspire others to do better workWe don't wait to be told what to do, we take initiativeWe challenge ourselvesWe represent Lessonly positively in the communityWe critique, we don't complainImplementation engineerTechnical investigatorTier-2 escalation engineerNoah has been with us for a little over 6 months at this point and in that time, he's done a great job developing relationships with the rest of the company, going out of his way to help both customers and our internal folks resolve issues, and helping improve the escalation process. He's done such a great job that folks outside of our team have sent me messages about how helpful he's been. Here's the latest from someone in the company: "Noah has been killing it! He is doing an awesome job, especially with a few difficult customers lately. We appreciate him and his hard work SO VERY MUCH!!"
Thank you, Noah for your empathy, patience, and the initiative you take to help everyone do better work 🎉
Observation created over 5 years agoFeaturing:Tom C.We put learners firstWe have difficult conversationsWe share before we're readyWe ask clarifying questionsWe own our requestsWe are truthfulWe are coachableWe inspire others to do better workWe don't wait to be told what to do, we take initiativeWe put the team before ourselvesWe challenge ourselvesWe critique, we don't complainRubyCommunityInitiativeMentorshipDesign CollaborationBack-end engineerIn last week's Learn Squad weekly huddle, the topic of a bug (dubbed "a hole in the spacetime continuum") came up. This bug came to life as a result of a story I had recently done in the Accessibility epic, but Tom had taken the initiative to fix it shortly after it was noted as an issue in Slack. I greatly appreciated him taking this on, but found myself feeling even more appreciative in Monday's meeting during the conversation around what happened/why the bug occurred. He explained that he guided me down the wrong path when I consulted him on some Ruby syntax while working on the ticket, and explained the fix. Prior to this, I had never seen someone take so much ownership over an issue that occurred from assisting another engineer. In my past work, the responsibility would've fallen all on me, so this experience left me in awe. I am very thankful to work alongside someone like Tom, who a) understands we're all human, and b) takes ownership of his work (whether that's in the codebase, or offering help to others)!
Conversations about We have difficult conversations
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